Healing Arts health and Wellness

Filling Empty Spaces

December 10^th and May 2^nd will be dates that will forever remain burned in my memory.  December 10^th was the date my son was born and then 19 years later on May 2^nd he moved out of my house and into his own apartment. Those two dates are huge due to the enormous impact my son made on my life. He bounced into this world with tons of energy and love. He immediately taught me things as a mother such as being compassionate, patient, loving and caring. He also kept me on my toes and reminded me I had someone else to always fight for besides just myself.

May 2^nd was emotional as he utilized that assertiveness once again and moved himself into his first apartment with some friends. He had saved up money and had a good job. He remained steadfast to his word that he would remain in college and pursue a career for himself. (Today he is entering his sophomore year.)

Suddenly the house was empty and quiet! What was I do to? The dogs moped around and sighed heavy sighs when no one came by to rub their bellies. My stepchildren had moved out years earlier but my son was still around to fill the space with sounds of laughter. He was in Band for many years so many times my living room was full of other band kids laughing and playing their instruments. There was never a dull moment.

So, I set out on a journey to fill that empty space. Yoga seemed most appropriate for me. I shifted and changed the back bedroom so that I could provide private yoga sessions in my home and have my own space for a yoga practice. I decided during the early morning hours, which usually meant hustling around getting ready for early morning band practice, now was my Yoga time. Me time!

I began by setting my morning routine with a cup of coffee and then a 30 minute yoga practice followed by a 10 minute meditation. Sometimes I would take my mat outside and listen to the birds while I grounded myself in meditation. Other times, I would light my candles, turn on my diffuser and music and find a beautiful yoga flow in my yoga space while the dogs looked on in wonder. Either way Yoga allows me to fill gaps that are missing because Yoga is about expanding, joining, nurturing, and learning. Maybe I am learning more about myself in this moment without my child physically here in my home. Certainly I am learning more about nurturing myself in this very moment.

Finding something positive to fill that void was most important to me. What will you do for yourself in time of need?

As I continue on my path of researching Yoga both personally and professionally, I have realized how closely related the two fields are. There are so many similarities in fact that we really should be combining both worlds at the same time.  When we are emotionally well, not only do we connect with others better, but we also become more creative, motivated, focused and attentive to our bodies.

Many people come to yoga or counseling initially because of some health issue whether it be physical, spiritual or mental. Most individuals are looking for outside help because he/she has exhausted each of his/her own coping strategies.

Clients learn in Yoga as well as in Counseling, that there is a fine line in finding balance between “letting go” and “gaining control”. In both forms of treatment, we look to let go of what no longer serves us, and in turn strive to gain control of a healthier lifestyle. For example, letting go of negative thought patterns in counseling, so as to gain healthier more positive thought patterns.

According to Judith Hanson Lasater, PhD, PT, and Yoga Therapist, “with yoga we want to relax the mind and body so that tension can be released and healing can begin.”  By letting go or relaxing certain muscle groups in Yoga we can begin to gain control in a different muscle group such as our breath or reducing our thoughts. For example, in Tree Pose we want to ground down through our feet while at the same time lifting through the crown of our head. Therefore, two different actions simultaneously acting together to create one goal.

Yoga and Counseling could complement each other beautifully if practiced together. Many clients find while in counseling that they aren’t even connected to their physical body because they are so wrapped up in what is going on in their head. Same thing can happen in Yoga and then injuries could occur because we are not practicing awareness. Being aware of where our body is currently placed is just as important as understanding where our thoughts are driving our moods and behaviors. Deep Breathing relaxes the physical body by lowering blood pressure and heart rate, which then in turn continues to relax the mind. 

So, take a moment and stop what you are doing and just take notice of where your body is currently. Is it sitting in a chair, or standing in line? What do you feel? What do you notice? Without judgement, just try and slow down the breath, by breathing in through your nose to the count of three, and out through your mouth to the count of four. Do this 3-5 times until you can begin to notice a warmer more relaxed state in the body and mind. Continue to this until you feel better and more relaxed. Then you can move on with your task and focus.  This moment of relaxation might even change your mind!

Namaste

Yoga in Sanskrit means “union” of the mind, body and spirit.  So it makes sense that I myself being a licensed mental health counselor, also practice yoga. With my yoga practice I feel I am joining my mind, body and soul to becoming a whole and complete being. I feel there is so much more to healing than talk therapy although it is useful. The body stores energy whether positive or negative and stress, a form of energy, can be held in the body causing pain and illnesses.

I was probably first introduced to yoga as a small child as I watched my mother stretching down in the floor in front of the TV in the evenings after supper. As a child I was full of energy and probably was difficult to keep still. My mother could tell you stories about me dancing in the pews at church. Dance became my first love. I found I could escape any negative thought or feelings through dance and release excess energy. I also felt whole and complete when I danced, as if nothing could tear me down. It became a source of resilience for me.

Then once I became older and a dance injury kept me out of dance, I began to try other things. I found yoga again after my divorce. On Tuesday nights I would take my very young son to spend time with his dad while I would attend a very crowded yoga class. I immediately reconnected my mind with my body and spirit again. If you have ever been through a divorce you understand how emotionally draining it can be and how overwhelmed with feelings you can become. Yoga gave me a peace of mind through not only the poses, called Asanas, but also through the breath, or Pranayama.

Three years ago I decided to become a certified yoga Instructor with the intentions of combining it with my private practice therapy. Today in my private practice, I teach my clients how to breathe and reclaim their Yoga which we are all born with, but must find.  How do you relax?